My early morning walk looks something like this…
To start my day with quiet, beat the heat, and see wildlife is a plus. It’s mostly the same thing everyday, like much of life…just ordinary. What would we do without the ordinary of nature?
We think we don’t like ordinary; that life should be full of adventure. But wait—just imagine keeping pace with Spiderman or Ironman for just one week?
Are you stuck with troubles, my friend?
What a question!
It would be more likely that you would say to me—when do I NOT have troubles?
And what do we do when we are troubled, but work harder at it? That was me last night…letting all life’s negative “things” pile on top of me, constricting like a vise, squeezing the joy out of me and replacing it with FEAR. So many troubles take over pressing down on the spirit until nothing makes sense…not even God.
We let them!
I wonder how that small grade becomes a steep cliff where things pile up and we can’t see God in our midst because our troubles become so big they block God right out of our tiny little life.
Yes, we have such a small scope in this infinite universe. It’s like being in a fog…our vision is limited.
Ours is nothing compared to the Infinite Creator who made us because he wanted someone to love…
He is long-suffering.
He waits for us to fall flat on our faces after we try to fix all things with our own puny efforts. Oh yes, we make our lists to suit our needs and don’t throw any monkey wrenches in the works, because of course our plan is perfect and it will all work out according to our plan…
Not on your life.
This is exactly how we learn that we are puny, proud, and finite. This is how we find out how big God is and that leaving things in his hands is so much easier, never mind how much better things turn out.
So why do we torture ourselves with worry over small pebbles in our lives right up to the huge boulders that come upon us?
Somehow it seems to me that right when I think things are going well and I’m good with God…several things come my way in rapid secession and I crumple under the weight of it. I’d rather shove my head under a pillow until the storm is over.
I wonder…why am I not ready?
Trust God? We humans love control! Why would we want to bother God with such little things? Do we think he doesn’t want to be bothered with all those pesky little things? Or do we think he’s too busy to handle so much—so we can help. Yes, we like being in charge so things will go our way.
Then we wonder why he has to throw a boulder in our way.
Daily I read his word, daily I pray. He is my source…and I forget it still. I wonder if in this life I will ever be looking to him at the beginning of every crisis, instead of finding myself in total despair, throwing my hands up and saying—when will I really listen to you? Believe you?
I honestly think at times it looks like I have no faith at all.
Then He comes in the quiet, when I’m down and out… when I’m beaten by fear and loss…when I’m tired of trying and losing…
He fills me with peace I can’t get from anywhere else but the Father.
Last night I was reading some old hymns, and came across one traditional Gaelic melody with words adapted by James Quinn from St. Patrick:
Christ is beside me,
Christ is before me,
Christ is behind me,
King of my heart.
Christ be within me,
Christ be below me,
Christ be above me,
Never to part.
Christ is on my left hand and my right, he is all around me, while I sleep and when I’m awake.
This song sums it all up…Christ is me, the hope of glory.
Who or what shall I fear?